Brass Monkeys

Once or twice I've been so cold in the middle of the pitch that I could barely reach into my pockets to mark a score or pull out a card - my hands have all but died from the cold.

And on Saturday, while perched in the press box at the Bath v Northampton game (which is open to the elements at -3C with the wind chill factor) my fingers gave up all hope of typing the match report. Not so much freezing the ba**s off a brass monkey, more like its fingers.

So when I tentifully answered a call on Sunday to referee on Monday evening, I knew that my first purchase with the Christmas cash accumulated from the big day was looming - a base layer just had to be bought.

And £25 later (not too bad I reckon) I am now the new owner of a nice black base layer and am hoping to God that it keeps me warm this evening.

Whether or not it does the job I will let you know... that's if I survive a 7.30pm KO in a freezing Bridgwater - all the name of getting my eye in for the "big one" on Saturday in National Three.

My week gets better...

It wasn't the best of starts to the week I have to admit, but a phone call telling me I'd been selected to represent the RFU at the iRB 7s World Cup in Dubai next year cheered me up no end!

The tournament will see a women's and men's World Cup run alongside one another, with four women officials complementing the 18-strong men's team.

Looking down the list (see below), it will be great to hook up with some people I've met on my travels and these events always provide a great opportunity to meet new friends on the refereeing circuit.
So, I guess I'll being going slightly easier on the mince pies and drinking only half pints of sherry this Christmas in preparation for the event in early March.
But then - no game is bigger than your next one, so here's to Exmouth v Bournemouth in South West One on Saturday.

Women Referees

Dana Teagarden USA
Joyce Henry Canada
Claire Daniels England
Gabriel Lee Hong Kong

Women Assistant Referees

Miho Osawa Japan
Barbara Guastani Italy
Aoifie McCarthy Ireland
Anastassiya Khamova Kazakhstan


Men Referees

Taizo Hirabayashi Japan
David Keane Ireland
Simon McDowell Ireland
Neil Paterson Scotland
James Jones Wales
Andrew Small England
James Bolabiu Fiji
Jean Luc Rebollal France
Carlo Damasco Italy
Marcelo Pilara Argentina
Scott Herbert Arabian Gulf
Andrew Lees Australia
Garratt Williamson New Zealand
Jaco Peyper South Africa


Men Assistant Referees

Alan Whitcombe Arabian Gulf
Grant Bateman Arabian Gulf
James Fitzgerald Arabian Gulf
Mark de Wet Arabian Gulf
Taku Otsuki Japan
Jimmy Toda Japan
Tim Shi China
Tobi Lothian Hong Kong


In Goal Assistants

Nizam Jamaldeen Sri Lanka
Dilroy Fernando Sri Lanka
Harry Mason Singapore
Joe Riddle Arabian Gulf


Referee Managers

Keith Lawrence IRB
Paddy O'Brien IRB
Stan Wright Arabian Gulf

Performance Reviewers

Tappe Henning IRB
Tony Lynch Wales
Dennis Immelman South Africa

Stuart Barnes

You have to love commentators, or maybe sympathise with them anyway, as often they spout off some pearl about the referee without fully understanding the laws or indeed the officials' protocol about on-the-pitch matters.

Anyway, once again Mr Barnes caused a wry smile to appear on my face when I was listening to him commentate on a Heineken Cup match at the weekend involving a French team and an English one.

The referee, Nigel Owens, boasts a strong Welsh accent and, by this stage of the game, was more than a little hacked off with both sides behaviour and so saw fit to administer a warning in his own inevitable style.

Calling out the skippers, he told them he'd "had enough and they were to stop messing about and scrummage within the laws of the game." (and bear in mind the strong Welsh accent).

But wait - Mr Barnes then declares how unfair that was as surely the French wouldn't have understood a word Owens said, while the English would have!

Yep - of course they didn't. I mean, butter wouldn't melt in their mouths, would it?

Come on Mr Barnes, that was lame, even by your standards...

Stupid shorts and hats

It's undeniably bloody freezing, and who could blame touch judges for wearing full tracksuits and gloves at last night's Barbarians v Australia match at Wembley. I don't!

Given the choice, I would have worn a base layer, thermals, kit, more thermals and then a tracksuit. I've lost count of the number of times my hands have refused to work when refereeing because it's so cold. Even putting your hands in your pocket to note a score is painful.

But hark - the murmurings from the "old guard" - wear gloves? A tracksuit? God grief, surely not? In my day..... blah, blah.

It divides opinion in officiating circles, after all, image is everything. Generally speaking, it's a no-no to cycling shorts visible beneath shorts, but a base layer under your shirt is OK. And God forbid anyone who referees while wearing a support bandage, ankle-style boots or keeps a pencil tucked in their sock. (I have my own idea of where I can stick a pencil.)

But when you're on the line, a little more sympathy is allowed. So it's a yes for a tracksuit and gloves, but a beanie hat would send shivers down the corridors of Twickenham, after all, we're British (but with that, slightly stubborn).

However, which IRB nut came up with idea to design shorts with a "pouch" for sticking your cards in down the front? Every time one of the officials in this autumn's international spell reached for his cards, he looked like he was 1) adjusting himself, 2) warming his hands up.

Cards and scorebook in pockets, watch on wrist and as for the pencil? I'll leave that to your imagination...

England v New Zealand

Being the "reserve" referee last weekend meant inevitably I ended up not refereeing as it would appear there wasn't a shortage of us around the region, so I headed off to a local club and watched a second team game.

And soon got fed up of that (sorry, but it was dire) and my will to watch was tested beyond reason, with the referee (who I think I've seen at our society's monthly meeting once in the last three years) seemingly refereeing a completely different game.

Not being able to draw myself to watch the Welsh (grrr) beat the Aussies, it was England v New Zealand and irish refere Allain Rolland.

Far be it from me to criticise, but one couldn't help thinking he over-refereed the first half (especially England) and backed himself in a corner for the second. Four-yellow cards for one side? As for the penalty count 15-5 against England?? Mmmmmm...

Haskell (again- deliberate use of elbow and in full view of ref
Mears - in at side after warnings (doh!)
Rees - after yet more warnings, so had to go for obvious offence
Flood - unlucky to be carded with accidental high tackle

England played Rolland all wrong, communicated appallingly (Borthwick mainly), and I have never seen Rolland get so hacked off with a side before.

But then, Steve Borthwick is hardly the greatest leader of men and England were given enough warnings, but if the best he can do is "what was that for ref?" time and time again, it makes you wonder.

And how many times to England fail to listen to the instructions? The better team is always the one who works out the referee early on, just as the better referees are the ones who work out the teams early on.

England's hammering was not Rolland's fault, far from it, but one of the IRB's top guns was not as his best on Saturday at Twickenham.

BRIAN Smith believes New Zealand's shock defeat of the Kangaroos in last week's Rugby League World Cup Final can help inspire England this weekend."There are times when you're going to have your backs against wall," the England Attack Coach told today's rfu.com podcast, ahead of Saturday's Investec Challenge match against the All Blacks at Twickenham."

As raging favourites, Australia dominated the tournament. But in the final, New Zealand were still in the game after 60 minutes and they were good enough to beat the team everyone else considered untouchable. There's a lesson there for us."

A former Ireland and Australia international himself, Smith insists the learning curve is part and parcel of the team's development. "I've been around the block enough to know that winning and losing are all part of the process."If you get distracted by either it can get you unstuck.

The most important thing is to reinforce the things that were good and address the things that were bad. If you've got a commitment to do that and you work your tail off, then you'll get there in the end."With the All Blacks looking for a third straight tour victory, Smith accepts that England are the underdogs on Saturday, but warned, "Understand this. In this year's Tri-Nations series, New Zealand lost to South Africa, then they lost to Australia.

They were staring down at a third straight defeat. But they went on to win it."One of three changes to the line up that faced South Africa last week, Danny Cipriani this week takes his place on the bench, making way for Leicester Tiger Toby Flood.

"I can completely understand the coaches' decision," admitted the 21-year-old."There's no hard feelings here. I'm looking forward to going out there any hopefully play some rugby. There's no pain in the foot whatsoever, it's fine. I just need to get that consistency of performance in my game. I've shown some glimpses but it's only seven games in, hopefully after another two or three I will be there."Should he come on, Cipriani is looking forward to the prospect of facing Dan Carter.

"Dan and Richie McCaw are inspiring characters. You see the way they play their rugby and the way they carry themselves, they are fantastic. There's a lot for me to learn still. This is just another step along the path to being as strong a player as I can be."Carter too is quick to compliment both England's young fly halves.

"I was expecting to come up against Danny this week, I'm sure he'll get some game time. He's still young and I'm sure it won't be the last we see of him, he's got a lot of talent and if he keeps working hard then he's capable of being one of England's best."I think Toby is a pretty similar player.

If England can get things going forward and give him front foot ball then he'll certainly be a player to watch out for."The match is for the first time being played for the Hillary Shield, in honour of New Zealand icon, the late Sir Edmund Hillary, the first man to climb Everest in 1953.Said Carter, "Edmund Hillary is pretty special to New Zealanders."It's the first time we'll be playing for this trophy so we'll be pretty keen to get our names on it first. We've been a bit slack this tour in not starting well and giving people a sniff early on.

"We realised we're playing against a tough opposition, England are fortunate to have Martin Johnson, he's a real leader and I'm sure the guys look up to him and want to perform their best. I'm sure they'll be very fired up for him and the fans.

"It won't be the end of rugby on these shores for the likes of Richie McCaw and Joe Rokocoko, they'll be joining a myriad of rugby stars to play for the Barbarians against Australia at Wembley next Wednesday.

It's the centenary of the London Olympics match between Australia and Great Britain, who at that time were represented by Cornwall. Fans can avoid the booking fee by buying tickets through Middlesex County, priced from £30 for adults and £15 for under 16s. Contact Phil Duffy on 07736 517729 or e-mail philipduffy@rfu.com before Tuesday.For the full interviews, check out the rfu.com podcast every Thursday (from 4pm).

Dubai or Combe Down?

Who needs Dubai when you've got Somerset?

The last week of Novemeber and as yet I have no idea what awaits me Saturday as I'm on the "reserve" list. Part of me hopes I don't get a call up to cover an injured/sick colleague as that means travelling anywhere in the south west region, but, as I didn't get to ruin anybody's weekend last Saturday (family commitments), I feel the urge to go out there this weekend - hopefully it won't mean travelling to far, thou.

And that's because I'm off to The Stoop on Sunday to cover the Harlequins v Bath game for the Bath Chronicle. It will also provide an opportunity to watch the referee - Martin Fox. It becomes a habit when you're a referee yourself, you end up watching the official and not the game. (Take up the whistle and you'll know exactly what I mean).

This weekend also sees the first of the IRB 7s in Dubai and I was hoping to be out there as part of the team officiating in the women's tournament, but alas I wasn't selected as the powers that be have selected some up-and-coming referees to peruse ahead of the 7s World Cup in Dubai in March 2009. Fingers crossed for selection in March then!

And so, for those that care, I didn't get to hear "but ref, I was on my feet" or "ref, they're offside all the time" at all last weekend - oh how I miss that, but I did go training (twice) and consumed a low level of alcholic units.

Oh, and here's hoping England don't suffer the hammering I fear they may get against the All Blacks at Twickenham this Saturday... ever the optimist!