Not that it happens often after a match, and it hasn't for a while, but it's amazing how many "ex-referees" there are willing to impart some pearl of wisdom in the bar following a match.
Before and during the game there are hoards of people only too willing to offer me plenty of advice on the refereeing front, from the man who confirms the fixture midweek, the bloke on the gate at the hosts club and, of course, the odd spectator or two - it's all part of the game and for the most part it's fine and taken in good humour.
And then there's the ex-referees. A bit like ex-smokers, they always seem to offer the "best advice".
A few weeks ago a rather portly gentlemen from the host club decided that, after the game and while I was waiting for a drink, he'd point out the error of my ways and give me a few tips to improve my refereeing.
Suspicions are always aroused when someone in a club blazer introduces themselves as an ex-referee and a member of Such-and-such Referees Society (rather than from the host club), and all this following a pre-match meal where you just know that much wine and ale has been sunk.
"You know what my love, and I know you won't mind me telling you, but you need eyes in the back of your head.." (as if a referee didn't know that already)... said Mr Ex-Referee. "You need to move around a bit more - you need to catch the cheatin' blighters.."
... and so continued a rather one-way conversation about what I missed and the fact I needed to "move a bit more".
He was right - I do need eyes in the back of my head (they've been on my wish list for years) and I probably do need to move a bit more, but being belched this advice through beer-tinged breath after a game is something I could have done without.
That's what assessors are for!
Dubai countdown: (four weeks)
Weight loss: Not good (up 1lb)
Alcohol: Not great either... (let's move on)
Exercise: Two gym, one refereeing appointment and a schools' 7s tournament
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